8.24.22

 Last night was one of those nights where every hour beginning around 930 i woke up thinking i had been asleep all night.  its  back to the hospital this morning.  I will be leaving in a few minutes.  

I decided unilaterally to make the meeting today virtual.  Too much driving in what has been bad weather and too much to do wither the weather is good or not.

our 1 year unanniversary is coming up, i wont talk about that again.

The meeting stopped happening long before it started which made me happy about making it virtual.  Will see how big a waste of time this is.

there wont be much to this post.  i am tired.  i went to the hospital, i had those meetings taht were to be had, i did the two lois that mattered even if they dont.

I have more to do, now i have to follow up on those claims and if i hear nothing then i have to edit them myself.  i am sort of ready for that and i have this weekend to work on them, another weekend with no fun and it is raining so i cant walk the dog or swim but perhaps it will stop sometime.

Things are quiet.  I am waiting.  I dont know what i am waiting for.

I ended up walking the dog 2.5 miles in the rain.  Of course I felt better afterwards.  Tomorrow i go to the dr and start the next phase of the hernia.  proof you dont care, doing the same thing as me.  well, it didnt mean i didnt care, but im thinking something different is there.

I wish i had something positive to say, something that would make the future look brighter than it was, a lot is happening, maybe that has to be enough.  There is an awful lot getting ready to happen, so who knows what tomorrow will look like or the day after my surgery whenever that happens.  And, as always, what does it mean without you, if the doctor tells me surgery will fix or i will die, if the fusion plant is built and works or is never funded.  You not being there means that it all means nothing, the universe is a videogame and no matter what i do now, i suppose i lose now or eventually.  And perhaps the 1 year thing and the loneliness tomorrow wont matter.

Its time to publish a draft of the book because of what happens next week.  And the week after that.  And yet, there is already more of the patent to deal with and I think those claims have come back to me.

The real estate deal is dead, i killed it but only for cause.  I will have an appraisal at least an informal one by the end of the week and if it is 400 or 300 or back to 200 that will be what it is and i will not worry about it.

I could go on and on, but I am not happy with you.