Purgatory.
https://youtu.be/KgwqQGvYt0g - on school police (john oliver)
The temperature among other things seems right. I woke at 527 which is a little late for me and sprung up, the dog was willing to get up without snapping at me and we were on the road by just after 530, trying to get a 3 mi walk in before the sun came up. It was bright despite the earlyhour and off the hill the sun may well have already been peaking about the horizon.
despite walking, showering, coffee and a fast breakfast it is only 715 and i worked hard this weekend so getting in at 8 is not an issue for me this morning, so i am going to drink my coffee and spend a few minutes with the dog.
This shows the sunlight, the yellow and blue, at the top of the trees at the top of the hill near the end of the walk from the slowly waking golf course.
By the end of the walk it was several hands high and the first signs of life had already started work at the golf course which I had hoped to beat and would have done so if i had started in that direction. I managed to stay away, however and the hour long walk for the day is now behind me and only the top huff of the trees nearby are fully lit even though i have already had my shower and bowl of cereal.
The pool is clear despite the black algae embedded at certain points in the sides and even though i did not put in the clarifier yet which i need to tend to this morning once the pump starts, it is early for that also. Staying on top of things means minimizing but not eliminating chemicals and the results are gratifying, particularly right now and when i swim and can see the bottom to orient my swims.
I am going to publish this now, before it is finished or edited because there is a small chance that you will see it and though i have not watched it i think that john oliver clip may come up in your day and that is all i think about.
A few words seem precious. They aren't. It's a reality based future I want. Double life is not a life, it's half a life.
Today I am doing time in a prison I built a long time ago. I thought it had crumbled years ago but it is strong built on comprises. In the face of the whirlwind I had no idea it could stand up and maybe if I wasn't so old and tired and beaten up things would be different. If I'm going to find a path forward it's going to be in new mexico I suppose and so far that has with stood my efforts. Why couldn't we have stuck with it? Would that have made a difference and at what ultimate price. I have wondered at the deviations we both choose. I took a lot of punishment and dealt out a lot of pain and in the end it left the prison battered but surprisingly there. Sometimes the walls seem ready to fall but they never do. Breaking out means going back to the desert, alone this time I guess, scary remote and filled with potential to turn parole into freedom from all the past, perhaps even the part that means more than life to me.
POLITICO: Can you take us through the profile of mass shooters that emerged from your research?
Peterson: There’s this really consistent pathway. Early childhood trauma seems to be the foundation, whether violence in the home, sexual assault, parental suicides, extreme bullying. Then you see the build toward hopelessness, despair, isolation, self-loathing, oftentimes rejection from peers. That turns into a really identifiable crisis point where they’re acting differently. Sometimes they have previous suicide attempts.
What’s different from traditional suicide is that the self-hate turns against a group. They start asking themselves, “Whose fault is this?” Is it a racial group or women or a religious group, or is it my classmates? The hate turns outward. There’s also this quest for fame and notoriety.
POLITICO: You’ve written about how mass shootings are always acts of violent suicide. Do people realize this is what’s happening in mass shootings?
Peterson: I don’t think most people realize that these are suicides, in addition to homicides. Mass shooters design these to be their final acts. When you realize this, it completely flips the idea that someone with a gun on the scene is going to deter this. If anything, that’s an incentive for these individuals. They are going in to be killed.
It’s hard to focus on the suicide because these are horrific homicides. But it’s a critical piece because we know so much from the suicide prevention world that can translate here.
No comments:
Post a Comment