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Monday, September 12, 2022

9.12.22

 From yesterday plus a year


Pretty sick of this post covid exhaustion thing assuming that I'm not just tired.  

Had a good morning of work, then just about died.  But I couldn't work so i walked, was hot and very hard and the hernia was an issue (didn't stop to do the yoga to help till i got back) and that hot difficult walk brought me back to life.  I've been working since, but I had to take a minute for this.

It was a temptation to call, but what could I say right now?  I have a lot, but my focus is on the future and not the past and until the future becomes the present, I am a liability.  To both of us.  It could certainly be different, but I cannot go that far back, I can only back a year and a year ago the present was closer than it is now.  Indeed I feel like it was very close indeed and at price which was steep, but perhaps not as steep as the price was before and less than it would be today.  But it would have been easier to pay it with some promise of a future.

I would rather be saving elephants and rhinos from extinction or just sitting with you and waiting for the sunset in some pretty spot, but my life has not been mine for many years.  It seems to grow less so as I get older.
I long for the desert and the freedom that went with it.



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